Social Ease And Connection, Part 8: Strength
Even when you are strong, some people may still be toxic for you and you may be wise to exclude them from your circle of daily interactions. However, avoiding such people does not mean that it’s okay for you to hate them. People to avoid include
- ‘Vampires’ who drain your energy but chronically give nothing back
- Victims who insist on continuously reliving the memories of their past traumas and refuse to get back to living life
- Those who incessantly complain but are not committed to fix what they complain about
- Those who non-stop criticize you and others and for whom nothing you do is ever good enough
Even more important, however, make time alone with yourself to get as close to your unshakeable self-presence as you can. Become so strong in your inner experience of life that you can stay in your power even in the presence of vampires, complainers, victims and critics. When you fall in love with the feeling of life, no one can make you fall out of love with it, no matter what.
If you can’t help them, create distance or fire them from your circle to give them time and space to find the beauty of their inner presence, too. When their old, sad ‘stories’ stop working because no one listens to them anymore, they may discover their sexy life and create better, more uplifting new stories to tell.
In high-functioning social groups, most members are strong in their individual presence and contribute presence to the entire group. They accept each other as unique, gifted and valued. They hold space to allow each member to contribute, and accept each member’s gifts with gratitude. They don’t shy away from setting straight those members who hide their gifts or steal the gifts of others. What do you bring to the social groups of which you are a member?